Is Obama really the zodiac killer?

obama gun

Above: note that Obama, like the Zodiac, preferred to be wearing sunglasses and holding a gun whenever photographed.

Greetings, y’all. Im afraid we have some disturbing news for you today; in light of recent events {that means I have too much time on my hands}, I’ve done a little detective work, and believe I have stumbled upon a horrifying and gruesome truth: Our commander-in-chief, Barack “Hussein in the membrane” Obama may be none other than the Zodiac Killer, a vicious serial killer who terrorized the San Francisco Bay Area in the late 1960′s and early 70s.

Since I don’t like to waste your time with useless chit-chat, {aren’t I sweet?} I’ll just dive straight into it:

5 REASONS WHY BARACK OBAMA MAY BE THE ZODIAC KILLER:

1. Obama has never denied being the zodiac killer! This is a disturbing revelation; because he’s been accused of being so many other things {gay, muslim, communist, etc.} and he’s always denied them all. But no matter how many times I ask if he’s the zodiac on twitter, he never answers {and doesn’t even follow me back! Gee, that’s not suspicious…}

2. Just compare these two quotes: 1-  “I like killing people because it’s so much fun” – The Zodiac Killer. 2- “I’m really good at killing people” – Obama {he actually said this. WTF}

3. The cab connection- No, we’re not talking about “taxicab confessions” {darn!} However, this is an important connection. The zodiac once killed a cab driver, in his own cab. Obama, when talking about facing racism in his past, complained of people locking their doors when he walked past, and not being able to successfully hail a cab. Hmm….coincidence?

4. Hoodies- Obama has expressed his support for Trayvon martin, who was tragically killed for wearing a hoodie. However, not all hoodie-wearers are so innocent. Remember this guy? Yeah, he’s the zodiac, and maybe the president too.

zodiac

5. They both have a love for writing stuff that takes up a ton of space and makes no sense- In the zodiac’s case, it was a ton of codes, ciphers, letters to the media, etc. that was ultimately just a huge waste of time and ink. Gee, sounds a lot like Obamacare, right? You know, Obama’s thousand-something-page “insurance policy” that wastes tons of ink, even more money, and doesn’t really cover anyone?

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